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As was my habit, I read through the Bible once every year
for 12 years. I had done this along with multiple readings in connection
with my preaching, teaching and studies. It was during these readings that
I started to notice certain contradictions. For instance, we teach the
doctrine of Original Sin from Genesis 3 but it is contradicted in Ezekiel
18:1-22. If this basic doctrine is not true, the whole foundation of all
Christianity falls. I saw these things as I read, and always stopped to
ponder them, but never had time to research them because of my studies,
etc. Yes, during my 8 years of study, we read through the Bible
book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter and verse-by-verse; however, we never did
a cross study, so any contradictions that are apparent were never
addressed. Also, this was the first time we studied Church History by
actual history and not from the Bible. It was at this point that I began
to question Christian Doctrines that were not in existence during the time
of Jesus; rather, they began 325 years later starting with the Doctrine of
the Trinity. The word "trinity" is not found in any Bible in the world,
neither is it in the original Greek and Hebrew languages [these were the
original languages that the Bible was written in]. This Doctrine [of
Trinity] was introduced at the first of 4 councils that determine
Christianity today, but because the Catholics at that time would not
accept it-it had to be reintroduced 68 years later, at the 2nd council of Nicaea. Through the Doctrine of Incarnation, which makes Jesus both God
and man, to the Doctrine of Propitiation, or perfect sacrifice, the
formulation of all of these doctrines took more than 100 years.
I always had a hunger in my heart to know more of God. One day, I went
to my professor and stated, "There has to be more to Christianity than
what we teach. We tell the people they must be "Born Again" (meaning you
have made a personal statement and commitment to asking Jesus Christ to
come into your heart and forgive your sins and make you a new person), or
you must be "Filled with the Holy Spirit"-in addition to being "Born
Again" (in which the person will have an in-filling of the Holy Spirit, experienced by glossolalia or speaking in tongues). (I had both
of these experiences, although they are not recognized as necessary by all
Christian churches or denominations.) There is a lot of in-fighting and
theological differences between denominations. Protestants do not
recognize Catholics as even being Christian because they worship Mary, the
mother of Jesus [peace be upon him] along with various saints. Baptists do
not have "fellowship" with non-Baptists. In addition, there are Methodist,
Wesleyan, Presbyterian, Congregational, Pentecostal churches and a
thousand independent churches that do not belong to any denomination. They
all differ on points of doctrine or interpretation of the Bible. I felt
that if what we were teaching were genuine, there would be no need for
denominations. There should be an apparent change in society around us.
Instead, society is in a decline and in worse condition than it was even
50 years ago! The [so called] Christian countries are among the worst. My
professor was lost for words and couldn't respond.
I went ahead and graduated with my Masters of Divinity (a degree in
Theology) in 1993. A month after graduating, I decided to study German.
One of my classmates was a medical doctor who had spent 6 years in Dubai.
We became friends and I noticed he was always asking me questions
concerning the Old Testament. I was, also, always asking him questions
concerning culture in the Middle East. (I was never interested in Islam,
although my major throughout my studies was in missions. We had studies in
Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Animism and Catholicism along with cults. My
interest was in Animism, or tribal worship.) When we were together, I
noticed he was different. He always wanted to pray, but in a Christian
context. When we were out, he was always giving money to the beggars. He
even had a plastic bag full of coins in the car for this purpose. One day
I mentioned to him that if I hadn't known better, I would have thought he
were Muslim. He confessed to me that when he was in Dubai, he had embraced
Islam, but had never told his family. When he returned to the Philippines,
he apostatized and was no longer praying or practicing Islam. His family
were devoted Catholics, although he was no longer affiliated with the
Catholic Church, rather the Protestant church. It was within this same
time frame that I met a Filipina who had embraced Islam while working in
Saudi Arabia. I was living in Manila at the time, and although there are
Muslims there, it's not like I was out looking for them. I thought this
was rather strange that I should meet two people who were Muslims within
such a short time. Knowing how God works in my life through ordinary
circumstances, I jokingly said, "Okay, God, what are you trying to tell
me?"
I asked her about Islam, and the first thing I asked concerned how
women were treated. It is well known (as we are taught in the west and
hear through the media) that Muslim women are second-class citizens with
no rights. She must hide herself in an abaya/purdah or covering because
her husband does not want anyone to see her. She must stay in the house
and along with this the husband has a right to beat her! I was stunned by
her answer. She said the wife and mother are highly respected in Islam.
She explained that women are covered is because it is the command of Allah
for the protection of women. She also explained that spousal abuse is not
a part of Islam at all. I was so sure that what I had been taught was
right and I was ready to give all of my sympathy to these poor deprived
Muslim women. Upon being told the truth, as opposed to the fallacy I had
been taught, I proceeded to ask her other questions: Who is Allah, and who
is Muhammad (peace be upon him) in relation to the Muslims? At that time,
I was teaching in the colleges, so my questions were quite deep. She
admitted to being somewhat of a new Muslim and that although she could not
answer all questions, she would accompany me to the Islamic Center where
someone could. Upon hearing this, I prayed "Lord, (meaning Jesus at that
time), if this is Satanic or Demonic (as Christians are taught that Islam
is) then show me. I will not go even one time." After all, I wasn't about
to open myself to some demonic spirit. I didn't feel any hesitation, so I
went with her [rather cautiously]. I was quite surprised at their
approach. I taught Church Evangelism. I know that there are many
strategies and methods to be used when calling for someone to follow your
religion. They didn't use any of them! There was no psychological
manipulation, no subliminal influence, no harassment, none of this "let's
have a Quranic study in your house" as opposed to Christians using a Bible
study, and no telephone calls. They were straightforward and honest. They
gave me some books and said that if I had any questions they would be
happy to answer them. I went home that night and read all of the books
they had given me. I was fascinated and surprised. This was the first time
I was actually reading a book about Islam written by a Muslim! All the
books we had ever read during my 8 years of studies on Islam had been
written by Christians. These books reflected what they think Islam is. But
what they think Islam is and what Islam really is are two entirely
different perspectives. The Christians are sincere, but sincerely wrong. I
went back the next day and discussed for 3 hours what I had read. They
gave me some more books and I went home that night and read all of those
books. I went back the next day and we had another 3-hour discussion. This
went on for a week. At the end of that time, I had read 12 books and had
spent more than 15 hours in discussion. I studied 8 years in formal
Christian theological studies. At the end of that week, I knew cognitively
(head knowledge) that Islam is true. Did I embrace Islam then? No, because
even then I wasn't a hypocrite. It wasn't in my heart.
Among the first questions I asked that week was the question: Who is
Allah? We had been taught the God of the Muslims is a pagan god (somewhat
like the a Hindu god, but his name is Allah and this is the one the
Muslims worship). I was surprised to find out that Allah is The Omniscient
(All-Knowing), Omnipotent (All-Powerful) and Omnipresent (All-Present)
God. He is the Creator, Sustainer and Provider. This certainly did not
correspond with my studies in paganism, and I realized "certainly, this is
not a pagan god". There are neither rituals of secrecy nor any mediator.
He is The One and Only God, without partners. This is opposed to the
Doctrine of the Trinity where God is 3 beings: Father, Son (Jesus) and
Holy Spirit, all co-equal and co-eternal. We would like to ask our
Christian friends who Jesus was when he was supposed to be dying on the
cross and he said "Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachtani? (My God, my God, why have
you forsaken me?)" (Matthew 27: 46) Was he talking to himself? Perhaps you
will say, "No, that was the human part of Jesus" (Doctrine of the
Incarnation where Jesus was made both God and man) Man, you will say, to
relate to human suffering. But if you say this, then Jesus was not the
perfect Sacrifice (Doctrine of Propitiation) because according to
Christian Doctrine, all men are born with original sin (This is the sin
placed upon mankind because of Adam and Eve.) If he were born without this
sin, he would be less than man, and could not relate to temptation and
suffering.
The second question I asked was: Who is Muhammad (peace be upon him) in
relation to the Muslims? I was surprised to learn that the Muslims do not
pray to Muhammad (peach be upon him) as the Christians pray to Jesus
(peace be upon him). The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is not a
mediator. Muslims ask Allah to bless him and his descendants as we
likewise ask Allah to bless the Prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) and
his descendents at the end of our prayers. He came with the same message
that all of the Prophets (peace be upon them all) brought, including
Jesus. This message is to worship The One True God-Allah. Moses spoke to
the people of Israel, "Hear O Israel! The Lord your God is ONE GOD and you
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with
all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:4) Jesus (peace be upon him) also
delivered the exact same message, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord your God is
One God and you shall love the Lord you God with all your heart, all your
mind, with all your strength." (Mark 12:29,30) Note: Jesus said ONE GOD,
not three in one! Jesus, himself, (peace be upon him) never claimed to be
Son of God, which is what other people said of him. He always referred to
himself as son of man. Each Prophet came with the same message, but there
was a distinction in the deliverance of their messages. The message of
Moses (peace be upon him) was delivered during the Plagues on Egypt. The
distinction of Jesus (peace be upon him) is the casting out of demons and
raising the dead, all by the power of Allah. The distinction of Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) is that the Holy Quran was revealed to a
Prophet who could neither read nor write. The message of Moses and Jesus
(peace be upon them) was sent to a specific people, the Jews. In the
Bible, the words "Hear O Israel, Hear O Israel" are repeated over and over
by the Prophets, including Jesus. The Holy Quran was not sent to a
specific people although the Prophet (peace be upon him) was Arab and the
language is Arabic. Allah says in the Holy Quran [more than 20 times] that
Islam was sent to ALL MANKIND!
The third question asked was: What are the words of the prayer? Of
course we have all seen pictures of Muslims praying toward the Ka'bah in
Makkah. We used to think that the Muslims believe that the black cubical
is their god or they think their god is in there. This again shows the
ignorance that many non-Muslims, and Christians in particular, have about
the understanding of Islam. Since prayer and sanctification (holiness) had
always been of utmost importance to me as a Christian, I was very
interested to know the way and the words of the prayer.
They replied "first of all the approach to prayer is in
cleanliness-both physical and spiritual. Allah, The Creator of man is the
only one who has the right to say how we should come before Him in prayer.
Before, as a Catholic, I genuflected and made the sign of the cross.
Later, as a Protestant, we raised our hands singing, clapping, shouting,
dancing and crying. In our ignorance, we thought that this was the right
way to approach God. He tells us in the Holy Quran the exact
way we are to approach Him (chapter 5 verse 6). We are to wash our hands,
face, forearms, wipe over our heads and wash our feet. By doing so, the
minor sins we committed from those parts of our body are washed away. We,
then, assume a standing position while facing Makkah (the focal point of
our prayer), and raise our hands saying, "God is the Greatest". After
that, we say the first surah (chapter) of the Holy Quran: "Praise be to
God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the world, The Most Merciful, The Most
Compassionate, Master of the Day of Judgment. It is Thee we worship and
Thy aid we seek. Show us the straight way. The path of those upon whom You
have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those
who are astray. (Surah 1 Ayahs 1-7) Then again we raise our hands to our
shoulders and say "God is the Greatest" This is followed by bowing and
placing the hands on the knees while saying "Praise be to our Glorious
Lord" 3 times or more. When rising to a standing position, we say: "Allah
hears who praises Him. Our Lord, for you is all praise." Again the words,
"God is the Greatest". Now the worshipper will prostrate before Allah on
the ground while saying, "Glory to the Lord, the Great" 3 times or more.
After that, he reclines to a sitting position on his feet while asking
Allah to forgive him his sins and assumes again the prostrating position
while repeating again "Glory to the Lord, the Great" 3 times or more. I
was so stunned at hearing the words of this prayer that I blurted out
"There is nothing objectionable about this prayer! It is a prayer of
praise to God!!!" The words of the prayer and the execution are by
direction of Allah as shown to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) by
Angel Gabriel (peace be upon him). This is the way the Angels in heaven
pray before the throne of God. Imagine! The Muslims are the only people in
the world who pray like the Angels in heaven pray! Along with this, when
one stops to think, the Muslims are instructed to pray at stated times
which corresponds with the position of the sun. This means that with the
rotation of the earth only the Muslims are in continuous prayer before the
ONE AND ONLY MOST HIGH GOD-ALLAH 24 HOURS A DAY!
The last question I had concerned the authenticity of the Holy Quran.
The Bible is made up of 66 books (the Catholic Bible has more) and is
compiled by over 40 different authors. For some books the author is either
unknown or not stated, for instance, the book of Ruth in the Old Testament
and Hebrews in the New Testament. Although Hebrews is attributed to Paul,
his signature does not appear on it, and in the middle of Hebrews, the
style of writing changes. Of course, the average Christian is not aware of
this and unless you are studying for a theological degree, you will not
ordinarily find this out just by reading the Bible. In the Bible, you are
also dealing with two languages: Hebrew in the Old Testament and Greek in
the New Testament. Neither of these languages is to be confused with the
colloquial or spoken languages of today. I have also never heard that
Jesus spoke Greek! I had to study both languages in course of my studies.
I was impressed to find out that the Holy Quran had only one author, that
being Allah-God Himself! At the beginning of every chapter, except for
one, it boldly states, IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST
MERCIFUL, unlike the Bible which states in the Old Testament: The Book of
. . ., or in the New Testament which states: the Gospel according to . . .
[Matthew, Mark, Luke or John]. By the way, according to Biblical scholars,
Matthew, Mark and Luke were not the disciples of Jesus. They were
disciples of Peter and Paul. Mark is the first gospel written around 68
AD. Many Biblical scholars feel that Matthew plagiarized from Mark and
that Mark had gotten some of his information from another source called Q.
Luke states in both his gospel and the book of Acts that his accounts are
only second hand. John's gospel was written about 100 AD. Like I said,
unless you are studying theology, you don't find these things out.
Another thing that impressed me is the fact that the Holy Quran has
remained unchanged in 1421 years!! What is read today is exactly verbatim
as it was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Those who are
reading translations of the Holy Quran will usually find the Arabic next
to it. It must be remembered: a translation is not a transliteration. (In
every language, there will be variations in grammatical style and
structure, as well as phrases that cannot be translated exactly.
Therefore, translation is accomplished through finding the meaning of what
is said as well as the exact words that are used. This is why every Muslim
is encouraged to learn the Arabic of the Quran.) Not only are our prayers
said in the original language, but this also means that Muslims are the
only people on earth who are drawn together by a common language. For
instance, if a Chinese Muslim came to the United States and could not
speak English and the American Muslim could not speak Chinese; they could
communicate by using the Arabic of the Quran.
Although, I did not embrace Islam that week, I started to attend the
Islamic lectures. Again, I sat there stunned by what I was learning.
Everything I had learned about Islam while studying for my Master's degree
was refuted in these classes. As a Christian we never knew that the
Muslims believe in the virgin birth of Jesus. We didn't even think that
they believed in Jesus at all! But if a Muslim does not to believe in the
virgin birth of Jesus, he/she is not a Muslim. I was also surprised to
know that Muslims believe that Jesus was taken into heaven and will come
again! Mary, the mother of Jesus, has a whole chapter of Quran in the Holy
Quran named after her, yet the Muslims don't worship her or pray to her as
the Catholics do! The Catholic and Protestant Bibles have only a small
paragraph devoted to her, "The Magnificent". Surah Maryam is the name of
the chapter called after her, the mother of Jesus (peace be upon him).
I would go home from these classes and meditate, contemplating what I
was learning. Christianity had raised a lot of questions in my mind, yet
Islam was giving me the answers! Everyday I attended the lectures and
every night I read the Bible and every night I prayed, "God, show me if
this (Islam) is true." Somewhere along the line I had stopped saying
Jesus, stopped saying Holy Spirit, stopped saying "father". I was just
saying God [whoever you are] show me if this is true. When you ask the
Omniscient God to show you the truth, will He play a joke on you? It is
not easy to change your religion. I didn't want to lose my salvation, but
what if there was no salvation to lose? One night about two months from
the first time I had gone to the Islamic center, I had prayed this prayer
as I had been doing and went to bed. Somewhere between the state of awake
and asleep I physically felt something come into my heart. Immediately
being fully conscience, I sat up in bed and spoke out loud, "Allah, I
believe that your are ONE GOD AND ONE GOD ONLY." This was the first time I
had used the name of Allah. Although I heard others use it, I never had
spoken it myself until that time. After I had said that, there immediately
descended upon me a peace that Alhumdulillah has never left me to this
day.
My decision was not to be without repercussion. The Christians who
profess the love of Jesus and who so readily accuse others of persecuting
people for becoming Christian were the very ones to perpetrate persecution
on me. Of course, the first thing to go was my job. I would no longer be
able to teach in the Christian Colleges. You can have a Christian teach
about Islam, but you can't have a Muslim teach about Christianity. I had
already been a widow for 7 years at the time I embraced Islam. That meant
I must support myself. I still had 3 children I was financially
responsible for out of 9.
The second thing to occur was that my husband's family disowned me. My
husband came from a very prominent family. His grandfather is in the
history books as a recognized hero, and his father had at one time been
governor. Although all 3 of them were dead, I had a close relationship
with his family, so much so that I was actually closer to them than to my
own family. After becoming a Muslim, I was told (in no uncertain terms)
that I was no longer a part of the family and not to join in any of the
family gatherings. There are members of the family still in politics, and
it was certainly not to their advantage to have a Muslim in the family. I
felt very hurt by this; as for many years I had a close relationship with
them. It was not on the basis of my being a Christian, but because I was
part of the family. When my husband died, it was his family that I counted
on for help raising my children, only now to be turned away. I cried for 3
days, but whenever I made salah (obligatory prayer) I had the peace of
knowing I had made the right decision.
My own children were to be another source of contention. At this point,
all of my children, except for one son who was with me, were in the United
States. As I was attending the Islamic Center, I was sharing with them
through letters what I was learning. After I embraced Islam, my oldest
daughter (who happens to work for the headquarters of the church in which
I was affiliated for 18 years) wrote me letter and said, "Don't you know
that Islam is one of the most Satanic religions?" I responded by sending
her some booklets and she wrote back and said, "DON'T TRY TO CONVERT ME!"
I explained to her that it was forbidden for us by Allah to force our
religion on anyone, but that I had thought she might like to read them to
see what it is I believed.
As a parent, when you are experiencing some difficulty with one of your
wayward children, you usually call a meeting of the close relatives
[grandmother, aunt, cousin] who might have some influence over the
situation. Well, I found out later that my children had a meeting about
me! Mother is the problem and Islam is the culprit! Like most big
families, there is a dividing line among sets of children. The 3 oldest
are the bosses, the 3 middle ones are the fighters and the younger ones
have no say. While the discussion was in hot pursuit, the oldest ones were
vehemently opposed to the whole situation, the middle ones said, "This is
our mother and it is her decision. She is not forcing it on us. We want to
continue to be close to her and we want her also to be close to her
grandchildren." When I finally went to the States, the older ones wanted
to argue and had put up a wall that prevented any discussion. On the other
hand, the middle ones were open and full of questions. Our conversations
were just that-meaningful conversations-that took place in the course of
natural conversation. One daughter even made a statement that I was nicer
as a Muslim than when I was a Christian! This surprised me because, as a
Christian, I had always tried to exemplify what I believed.
When I am in the States, I still wear abaya and hijab. This same
daughter made another startling statement. She said she could tell when a
Muslim man was looking at me! I was curious as to how she came to this
conclusion, since I am not looking at men to begin with, and most Muslim
men in the States are not wearing any distinguishing dress (most not even
a beard). So I asked her how she could tell. She told me, "When they look
at you, it is different. They look at you with respect." After 6 years,
the older ones have finally accepted that I am a Muslim and, by the will
of Allah, will not change back to Christianity. They accept, not approve.
The others said that they see Islam is a way of life unlike Christianity
where you go to church, then go ahead and do anything you like. In other
words, it calls for a change of lifestyle.
My son, who had been living with me when I embraced Islam, was not
interested in religion (Christianity or Islam) at the time. He was 18 and
religion was not in his lifestyle. Sometime after I had lost my teaching
position, I was asked to start and manage a women's section at the Islamic
center. Every week, I would bring home books and neatly put them on the
dining room table and every day they were still there. Periodically, I
would change them, hoping that he would read them and ask me some
questions. He never did. Several times that year, I had some of the
brothers from the Islamic center come and talk to him. He was always
polite, but uninterested. One day someone talked to him and there was a
spirit of conviction on his face. He asked me, "Why didn't you tell me
this?" I was stunned and mentioned that I had left the books there, hoping
he would read them and ask me questions. He then told me that when I would
leave the house, he and his friends would read them and then put them
back! Also, I had an Adhan (call for prayer) clock and he said when I was
out of the house and he was alone, he would play it over and over! His
name is now Omar. He left his old lifestyle and friends and is also
working in Saudi Arabia.
He has been more successful than me in talking to his older sisters
about Islam. As of yet, no one else in the family has embraced Islam, but
we continue to make duah (supplications) for them. Insha'Allah, I will
live to see at least some of my children and grandchildren become
Muslim's. I have never regretted becoming a Muslim and pray that Allah
will give me the Iman (faith) of the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet,
[peace be upon him]).
Say: Indeed my Lord has guided me to a straight path-a correct
religion-the way of Abraham, inclining toward truth. And he was not among
those who associated others with Allah. Say: Indeed, my prayer, my rites
of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds. No
partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the first [among
you] of the Muslims. Holy Quran : Surah Al-An'am : 161-163
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